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Top 10 Signs You Never Left the 90's
Outside-line dialing, business phone manners, email jokes, colored Post-its, online strangers, nearby coworkers, too many family numbers, solitaire neglect, and microwave passwords reveal lingering decade damage.
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From Acid Rock to Acid Reflux: Life Then vs Now
Long hair becomes longing for hair, keg becomes EKG, acid rock becomes reflux, killer weed becomes weed killer, and Rolling Stones become kidney stones.
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Stages of Life
Beer, vodka, scotch, Maalox, seduction lines, favorite sports, successful dates, aging fantasies, house pets, and marriage timing track male life through a brutal chart.
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Age Bell Curve
Success begins and ends with bladder control, while meals, friends, driving, sex, and money rise and fall through life in one painfully symmetrical curve.
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You Know You're Out of College When...
Alive plants, real bills, weather channels, umbrellas, taxes, fewer vacation days, married friends, wine, grandchildren hints, Blockbuster nights, and science-diet dog food signal adulthood.
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Into The Future
Mexifornia, seventeen-dollar stamps, nine-foot basketball players, radioactive borders, natural conception mysteries, massive tax rates, political dynasties, and confused Florida voters imagine tomorrow’s headlines.
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You are an 80's Child if...
New Kids crushes, banana clips, Cabbage Patch dolls, Fraggle Rock, Atari, Gremlins lunchboxes, Swatch watches, Smurfette questions, and Greyskull power define childhood.
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Home on The Web
Broken links, 13-inch screens, no-Java requests, massive graphics, Netscape 3, slow modems, alt tags, and obsolete PCs turn a frontier song into dial-up frustration.
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Diary of an AOL User
Free disks, misplaced modems, chat confusion, capital letters, Usenet mistakes, giant signatures, repeated chicken jokes, and suspended accounts track one beginner’s disastrous online education.
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90's Office Lingo
Assmosis, blamestorming, seagull managers, salmon days, chainsaw consultants, adminispheres, Dilberted workers, flight risks, 404 people, and percussive maintenance define late office culture.
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The Truth About Version Numbers
Management pressure, hidden bugs, broken fixes, documentation crews, functional changes, placement agencies, and blame-shifting developers explain what software revision numbers really mean.
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First Graders
Termites, daylight saving time, dirty hands, old dogs learning math, Musketeers, Stevie Wonder, new batteries, pigs, pollution, and pooping birds complete famous sayings.
