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Federal Employees Performance Evaluations
Rock bottom digging, morbid curiosity, parking lot puddles, delusions of adequacy, village idiots, dead hamsters, and covered camera lenses turn personnel reviews into public executions.
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New Tax Laws Based on Penis Size
Unemployment percentages, dependent nuts, luxury brackets, pole taxes, nuisance fees, capital gains, refunds, and extension warnings turn male anatomy into a ridiculous IRS schedule.
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Letter to the IRS
Hammers, toilet seats, Pentagon pricing, NASA spending, screw reimbursements, election funds, and one satisfied taxpayer transform a tax payment into bureaucratic revenge by mail.
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Government Contracting Definitions
Poker bids, heavenly estimates, union orchestras, shotgun red tape, strangled chickens, impossible deadlines, battlefield auditors, and body-stripping lawyers define public contracting with surgical cynicism.
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Top 10 Ways to Get Dumb Guys to Vote For You
Monster truck limos, shiny buttons, mouse traps, Mr. Snapple interviews, bucket helmets, Waldo promises, circus tickets, and patriotic bombing plans target democracy’s easiest voters.
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Top 10 Messages Left for Fidel Castro
Humidors, revolutionary videos, olive fatigues, Kim Jong Il’s Playstation request, Paula Abdul confusion, Saddam greetings, and Cuba’s only answering machine create a dictator’s voicemail inbox.
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Dan Quayle Quotes
Failure risks, NASA priorities, future judgments, pollution impurities, prepared governors, low voter turnout, lost minds, Latin America, and tomorrow’s future fill famously tangled political statements.
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Top 10 Reasons to Elect Homer Simpson
Oval offices, free food, Fox News support, failed decision apologies, donut cabinet appointments, Mayor McCheese, and six-pack inauguration parties make Springfield politics sound almost reasonable.
