The Redneck Smoke Alarm

A redneck decided it was time to make his house safer, so he went to the store and bought a brand new smoke alarm.

He got home, opened the box, and carefully followed the instructions.

Mount it on the ceiling.

Test it regularly.

Replace batteries when needed.

Simple enough.

He installed it right in the middle of the living room ceiling and stepped back, proud of himself.

A few hours later, he decided to test it.

He stood on a chair, pressed the button… and the alarm let out a loud, high pitched screech.

He nearly fell off the chair.

Well that works, he said.

That night, he made dinner.

As soon as he started frying something, the alarm went off again.

He waved a towel at it, annoyed.

The next morning, he grabbed a ladder, climbed up, and carefully took the alarm down.

His neighbor saw him outside and asked, Something wrong with it?

The redneck shook his head.

Nope… works too good.

The neighbor frowned.

Then why are you taking it down?

The redneck held it up and said:

I ain’t trying to warn the fire…

I’m trying to surprise it.