Elephant List Humor

The Politician and the Shepherd

A young, ambitious politician was driving through the countryside in his shiny new SUV when he spotted an old shepherd tending to a vast flock of sheep. He pulled over, stepped out in his designer suit, and made a proposal. "If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looked at the man, then at his peacefully grazing sheep, and quietly nodded. "Sure, why not?"

The politician whipped out his high-speed satellite uplink, opened a complex spreadsheet on his tablet, and ran a series of advanced algorithms. After ten minutes of intense data processing, he stood up and grinned. "You have exactly one thousand, five hundred, and eighty-six sheep."

The shepherd sighed. "That is correct. Help yourself to any one you like."

The politician carefully selected the most impressive-looking animal and loaded it into the back of his SUV. As he was about to drive away, the shepherd called out, "Wait! If I can tell you exactly what your profession is, will you give it back?"

The politician laughed. "Go ahead, old man."

"You are a member of Congress," the shepherd said. "First, you showed up when nobody asked for you. Second, you want to be paid for an answer I already knew. And third, you clearly don't know anything about my business because you just put my sheepdog in your trunk."