The Politician and the Flood

A career politician was caught in a massive flood in his home district. As the water rose to his porch, a man in a rowboat pulled up. "Hop in, Senator! I’ll get you to high ground!" The politician waved him away with a practiced smile. "No thanks! I have faith in the system and the infrastructure bills I helped pass. I’ll be fine!"

The water reached the second floor. A rescue motorboat sped by. "Sir, get in! The levee is breaking!" Again, the politician declined. "I’ve campaigned on resilience! I’m staying with my constituents' interests!"

Finally, he was perched on the very peak of his roof. A police helicopter lowered a ladder. "This is your last chance, climb up!" The politician shouted back, "I’m waiting for a divine mandate!"

Ten minutes later, he swept away and drowned. When he arrived at the Pearly Gates, he was furious. He marched up to Saint Peter and demanded, "I spent forty years in public service! Why did you let me drown?"

Saint Peter looked at his clipboard and sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, Senator. We sent you two boats and a helicopter."