Peace on You

(Must be read with and Italian accent)

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast.

I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss.

I tella her I want two piss.

She say go to the toilet.

I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate.

She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch.

I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant.

The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock.

I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock.

I tell her you no understand.

I wanna fock on the table.

She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed.

Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit.

He tell me to go to toilet.

I say you no understand.

I wanna shit on my bed.

He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you".

I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.