3 old men were discussing their ailments and bodily disfunctions. The 70 year old says, "My problem is when ah get up it takes me 20 minutes to have a tinkle."

The 80 year old says, "That's nowt, when ah get up ah got to grunt and groan for 30 minutes before ah can have a shit."

The 90 year old says, "At 7am ah piss like a horse, and at 8am ah shit like a cow"

"So what's the problem then?" his friends both ask.

"Well ah don't wake up till 9am." he replies.