10. Begins every conversation by saying, "Hey, you know any secrets?"

9. Bumper sticker on car reads: "I'd rather be spyin'"

8. After one too many drinks, asks "Want to see your FBI file?"

7. Every Halloween gives your kids plutonium

6. He's been driving around the last 6 months with the body of Lenin in the trunk of his Buick

5. You tell him you work for the government and the next thing you know you wake up nude in Switzerland

4. You catch him going through your garbage in a raccoon suit

3. You mention you're having problems in the bedroom, and he says, "Yeah, I know"

2. You spot Yeltsin doing cannonballs in his pool

1. He tries to plant a bug in your pants