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Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Eating At Taco Bell

10) "Are my affairs in order?"

09) "Why is the counter kid wearing a hazmat suit?"

08) "Will the hot sauce kill the bacteria?"

07) "Is this how they poisoned that Russian spy?"

06) "Do I really want to succumb to a taco-related death?"

05) "Should I go somewhere safer for lunch like Fallujah?"

04) "Will this help me meet the recommended E.coli daily requirement?"

03) (No number 3 -- writer ate a bad chalupa)

02) "What would Kristie Alleyy do?"

01) "Wait -- when was Taco Bell not tainted with E.coli?"

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