10) Parrot infects entire cast with deadly Bird Flu

09) The swashbuckling lead character is named "Gilligan"

08) Pirate wears eye patch because of nasty racquetball injury

07) "Ship" is a 1992 Toyota Corolla

06) It stars Johnny Depp's cousin, Carl Depp

05) Long discussions about which is the best over-the-counter seasickness remedy

04) It chronicles the hero's attempt to open a Long John Silver's franchise

03) Instead of hook, pirate's missing hand replaced by giant "We're #1" foam finger

02) Pirates square off against those hilarious Geico cavemen

01) It's basically "Brokeback Mountain" on a boat