Top 10 Signs Your Lifeguard is Nuts

10. Instead of a whistle, uses a tuba

9. Can't say the word "buoy" without laughing hysterically

8. You see him stuffing his trunks with jellyfish

7. Sits with back to ocean

6. Just married a C.P.R. dummy

5. The gold crown and velvet cape

4. Sees a guy drowning and says, "Sorry Pal -- I just ate lunch so I've got to wait half an hour"

3. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner -- chlorine

2. She keeps breaking into David Hasselhoff's house

1. He's wearing nothing but a whistle