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Helpdesk Log
Forgotten passwords, fake forms, janitor training, duct-taped vents, server bouncing, floor-tile traps, cafeteria transfers, malicious macros, and endless lunches turn support into sabotage.
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Wife 1.0 Technical Support Request
Girlfriend upgrades, child processing, poker crashes, beer failures, alimony warnings, background conflicts, blame handling, monthly utilities, and communication patches turn marriage into software support.
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Top 10 Help Desk Callers
Experts, fiddlers, terrified mice, magazine geeks, paranoid users, gadget schemers, testers, filthy keyboards, and answer-resistant callers become species in a support technician’s taxonomy.
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Top 18 Helpdesk Rules
User problems, machine blame, useful ignorance, clueless passwords, broken printers, imaginary expertise, and strategic waiting become survival rules for anyone trapped in technical support.
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New Virus Alert
Credit cards, beer supplies, mother-in-law speed dial, fish tanks, shampoo bottles, grammar files, dirty socks, dangerous appliances, and mattress tags fall victim to one impossible warning.
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Top 10 Signs Your Co-Worker is a Hacker
Hex phone numbers, HBO workstations, Publisher’s Clearing House wins, half-cent retirement deposits, presidential AOL greetings, and academic revenge fantasies expose a suspicious office technologist.
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Mouse Balls
A serious hardware memo about replacement parts becomes accidentally filthy through domestic balls, foreign balls, sudden discharge, trained personnel, spare pairs, and customers missing essential equipment.
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Top 10 Fake Windows Error Messages
Prime numbers, cereal ports, missing coffee files, fake saves, spanked cats, incompetent users, skinny FAT records, stolen software, and paper backups turn system alerts into digital nonsense.
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Top 10 Murphy's Laws of Computing
Obsolete knowledge, hidden manuals, equal and opposite malfunctions, convenient blame, backup timing, failed solutions, and programs obeying too literally define computer frustration perfectly.
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Technology Addict Test
Buzzing devices, gadget friendships, salesman corrections, digital compression talk, daily backups, trade show maps, computer manuals, and laptop-free haiku diagnose a life overtaken by machines.
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If Operating Systems Ran Airlines
DOS passengers push planes, Mac staff explain nothing, Windows flights explode, NT travelers make whooshing sounds, and Unix crowds assemble aircraft while arguing on the runway.
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The Truth About Version Numbers
Management pressure, hidden bugs, broken fixes, documentation crews, functional changes, placement agencies, and blame-shifting developers explain what software revision numbers really mean.
