You Know You're In Trouble When...

...Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Zurich.

...Your suggestion box starts ticking.

...Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.

...The simple instructions enclosed aren't.

...People send your wife sympathy cards on your anniversary.

...You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together.

...The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.

...You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.